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Tour de France Important Rules

Important Tour de France rules to all homes set by the Association of lazy self-satisfied men:

  1. Beers should be served cold
  2. We have to fart and burp as it suits us
  3. You shall of course continue to either barter or burp
  4. Do not interrupt when we're talking about the tour – we don’t want or need your meaning
  5. The TV can NOT be tuned into Desperate Housewives at any time
  6. The tv room is our territory - the kitchen is yours. Use it!
  7. Your mother can not visit us in the next 21 days, but you are very welcome to go on holiday at her place during the whole period
  8. If you use the holiday suggestions, please fill the fridge with cold beer before you leave
  9. Sex life will be scheduled and you should be available every day between 22 and 12
  10. Forplay will be excluded in this period
  11. When my friends see the tour with me, call me by my name and not my nickname wonder bear or anything else
  12. Sexy cyclist womanIf there is an emergency and must talk to me during the live TV from the day's stage, do it during the commercials
  13. If you must go past the tv screen during the stage, please dress in clothes similar to what the girl wear on the right

FOR INFORMATION

  1. No, we do not think Fabian Cancellara is a beauty
  2. When we talk about El Pistolero we don’t want to shoot anyone we refer to Alberto Contador
  3. No, Netherlands is not a city in France
  4. Do not ask why a rider not stick away and win the stage when Columbia push in front and prepare the sprint for Mark Canvendish
  5. No, we do not have time to change the diaper on our baby
  6. It is your responsibility to keep stock of cold beer in the fridge at an acceptable level
  7. EVERY evening we watch tour stage analyses on the tv and not anything else
  8. Yes, we actually know more about race than any tv commentator
  9. No, Paris is not a country but is the capital of France
  10. Do not offer a glass of water instead of a cold beer
  11. No, Armstrong is not the guy who walked on the moon, but he comes from there
  12. And no! Schleck is not a nickname for Shreck

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